apron pot pan skillet log bottle

Photo: Composite by VICE Staff

Kiss the Cook apron? Check. New Balances? Donned, and tied tightly. Grill brush multi-tool? Duh. If this Sunday scene sounds familiar, you probably have a food dad. A noble, much-appreciated creature, the food dad is often observed participating in fascinating rituals to establish pack dominance when congregating with other food dads, including—but not limited to—worrying that Bob is going to overcook the steak, commenting on what he calls an “interesting choice” of seasoning, and making the same sausage joke three to four times over the course of a single gathering.

Unfortunately, many of the food

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